Sunday, September 28, 2008 @ 12:41 AM:
i cant sleep so i decided to come back to this rusty old blog. my psp failed me. im bored. well, what can i say. exams are OVER! haha. i deserve this break. i really do. but i feel i have failed you. perhaps i could have done so much more. i know i can. haiz. life's been tough, like leather. so difficult to go through day by day now. sometimes, its unbearable. ok stop to all this nonsense. lets look on the brighter side of life.
now i got holidays. sibei sian. its seems to be a dilemma. got holidays also sian, dun have also sian. i dunno what i want.
exams are over, more things are to come. i've got to be prepared.:P
it was you, who put the clouds above me.it was you, who made those tears fall down....
so come on, tell me.
Sunday, August 31, 2008 @ 9:10 PM:
Realised i haven't posted anything for a real long time. yet again my mood is as sombre as anytime i blog. i dunno why either. too many things are pressuring me and i think im on the verge of breaking down. promos are coming, its scaring the shit of me but yet here i am blogging. cibtc is finally asking for CIIs, i wanna apply but prep course is during promos. should i or should i not apply? i cannot go for HRC, its too close to my promos alrdy. everything i am doing now is revolving around this word 'promos' i cannot take it.
There's an ache in my heart i cant describe. my friends have been telling me the same thing i heard years back. i come back and ask myself why am i still doing all this. i really dunno. everytime i hear or see something. there seems to be this force on me. this pain is not like anything i felt before. its worst than doing drills the entire day and my feet ached so badly i limp back home. its just indescribable. i tell myself again, just forget it. then when i see that face again. i forget what i told myself. im a fool. foolishly head over heels. call me stupid, call me dumb but please end my pain. why am i lingering over something that may not even go the way i want it. if you still refuse, slap me in the face and say goodbye. i cant think of the day you leave me. it would be like leaving me a tattoo i will never be gone.
i told myself to give up before, but i realised i really, really, really cannot...
How can i move on, when i'm still in love with you?.. I'm the man who cant be moved...
so come on, tell me.
Sunday, August 3, 2008 @ 11:05 PM:
guess you must wondering why you can read this.. no, i didnt invite you nor did i make this blog private. im just lazy. lol.. been trying to study recently. i just cant do maths. i dunno why and im really scared cause exams are coming. well, all i can do now is pray. pray hard. i cant rmb what i want to write liao. shit. err.. shit.. really forgotten. nvm, go sleep la. all i do is dream. haiz.
why not coming?? reply me pls..
so come on, tell me.
Sunday, July 27, 2008 @ 3:50 PM:
i realised that nowadays im real busy. but i dunno exactly what the hell am i busy with. probably now im just finding an excuse to hide away from reality. ytd during meet the parents was just the reality check i needed. haiz. jc life really sucks and it doesnt just end here. i really cannot treat jc as how secondary life would be. otherwise, i cfrm going to a polytechnic next year. its time to wake up my fucking idea and tell myself, " OI! stop dreaming!" haiz. perhaps i really need motivation. but this is something that i am not getting. i should have taken the arts stream. think i wouldnt have failed so many things if i had taken that route. but then, if i taken that, what the hell am i supposed to do in the future? be a teacher? siao ah.. actually i wanted to blog about a number of things but i cant rmb. was too lazy to blog about it. anyway, i planning to make my blog private. too many people are getting access here alrdy. and im getting the quietness that i used to have. over and above is that i dun want people using familiar terms that i wrote on my blog against me. its very weird but annoying at the same time. yes pang wee, i know your reading this and yes, i am 'ranting'.. haha ask me for an invite if you realise you cant enter k guys? most probably will become private in a couple of days time. definitely by next week.
ok, im obsessed with the Dark Knight. its such a great movie. Heath Ledger portrayed the joker in the most sadistc and psychotic way anyone could ever have. i think he is much better than the Jack Nicholson version of it. i simply admired the joker. this second instalment, i think the main focus was more on the joker than the batman. haha. but anyway, go catch it. anyone who havent watch yet? please call me along. i feel like watching it again.
Let's put a smile on that face.. hahahahaha
bye.
so come on, tell me.
Sunday, July 20, 2008 @ 10:21 PM:
i just realised that this entire week im at cck. felt a bit wtf. but what the heck. hahaha. guess the most bo liao thing last week is the bmtc visit. bloody waste of them. think the only fun thing was the imt shoot. but then, the feeling was kinda been there, done that. cause during my batch of nat camp we did it before liao. yup. and ya, i would very much rather go for cse lecture. at least got video(yes, not movie. in fact was a documentary in CHINESE..) to watch.
then came sat. woke at like 630 then went down to hta to help out for the .38 shooting comp. that was a freaking long day. was super exhausted at the end of the comp. was rather disappointed by my results. I GOT 9 BULLETS STUCK!!! so sad. somemore that was from my figure 2. which means its 45 points. i could have gotten much higher. my final score was 86. 86 + 45 =
151!!!! top ten lowest was i think about 130+.. which means, I COULD HAVE GOTTEN INTO THE FINALS!!! argh!! so sad. haiz... nvm.. next year then say bah.. haha
today, do my wr at weichun's hse together with the rest of them. think we only finish one chap? LOL...
seems like creed is a band that i cant get enough of. too bad they disbanded alrdy.. well..
"with arms wide open,
under the sunlight.
welcome to this place, i'll show you everything.
with arms wide open.
now everything has changed. i'll show you love, i'll show you everything.
with arms wide open."
so come on, tell me.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008 @ 10:03 PM:
just felt like expressing some thoughts i have been having these few days. well, life hasnt been quite as complicated as these few days were. im still running away from certain issues that i know i must have an answer for. there are indeed some things that now that i think about it, kinda regret doing. but, whats done cant be undone. and im lost. perpetually lost to know what to do.
someone tell me what to do. i feel that i just dun want to lose this feeling that i already have. although it may seem that i have lost it. but everytime, it comes back. i really dunno what to do and i know remaining at status quo will not solve anything. haiz. i really confused.
ok will stop here cause i dunno how to continue. here's a quote i thought of
"you can forget the history of wars that happen, or the suffering of people. But you must never forget you own history"
live life fully and make sure you never live with regrets.
saw this statement in a video shop and has been in my head all the time. ' that which doesnt kill you, only makes you homcidal.'
LOL
bye folks, take care..
so come on, tell me.
Monday, July 7, 2008 @ 10:02 PM:
school is starting tml. sian. let me just give you this story about the strawberry pie and blueberry pie. see if you can figure out what this analogy is talking about.
there was once this guy who loved strawberry and blueberry pies. so one day, he decided to go try to get a strawberry pie as he craved for it. but the queue was freaking long. so he queued for like forever. suddenly, a person approaches and offers him a blueberry pie. now the person is very confused. should he continue to queue for the strawberry pie? he already queued for so long and if he were to give up now, he efforts will go to waste. but then the queue is so long, what if in the end there is no more strawberry pie? what should he do?
what should he do? what?
sometimes life is nothing but a joke. and the joke's on who now?
on me perhaps.LOL
see ya..
so come on, tell me.