Sunday, July 27, 2008 @ 3:50 PM:
i realised that nowadays im real busy. but i dunno exactly what the hell am i busy with. probably now im just finding an excuse to hide away from reality. ytd during meet the parents was just the reality check i needed. haiz. jc life really sucks and it doesnt just end here. i really cannot treat jc as how secondary life would be. otherwise, i cfrm going to a polytechnic next year. its time to wake up my fucking idea and tell myself, " OI! stop dreaming!" haiz. perhaps i really need motivation. but this is something that i am not getting. i should have taken the arts stream. think i wouldnt have failed so many things if i had taken that route. but then, if i taken that, what the hell am i supposed to do in the future? be a teacher? siao ah.. actually i wanted to blog about a number of things but i cant rmb. was too lazy to blog about it. anyway, i planning to make my blog private. too many people are getting access here alrdy. and im getting the quietness that i used to have. over and above is that i dun want people using familiar terms that i wrote on my blog against me. its very weird but annoying at the same time. yes pang wee, i know your reading this and yes, i am 'ranting'.. haha ask me for an invite if you realise you cant enter k guys? most probably will become private in a couple of days time. definitely by next week.
ok, im obsessed with the Dark Knight. its such a great movie. Heath Ledger portrayed the joker in the most sadistc and psychotic way anyone could ever have. i think he is much better than the Jack Nicholson version of it. i simply admired the joker. this second instalment, i think the main focus was more on the joker than the batman. haha. but anyway, go catch it. anyone who havent watch yet? please call me along. i feel like watching it again.
Let's put a smile on that face.. hahahahaha
bye.
so come on, tell me.
Sunday, July 20, 2008 @ 10:21 PM:
i just realised that this entire week im at cck. felt a bit wtf. but what the heck. hahaha. guess the most bo liao thing last week is the bmtc visit. bloody waste of them. think the only fun thing was the imt shoot. but then, the feeling was kinda been there, done that. cause during my batch of nat camp we did it before liao. yup. and ya, i would very much rather go for cse lecture. at least got video(yes, not movie. in fact was a documentary in CHINESE..) to watch.
then came sat. woke at like 630 then went down to hta to help out for the .38 shooting comp. that was a freaking long day. was super exhausted at the end of the comp. was rather disappointed by my results. I GOT 9 BULLETS STUCK!!! so sad. somemore that was from my figure 2. which means its 45 points. i could have gotten much higher. my final score was 86. 86 + 45 =
151!!!! top ten lowest was i think about 130+.. which means, I COULD HAVE GOTTEN INTO THE FINALS!!! argh!! so sad. haiz... nvm.. next year then say bah.. haha
today, do my wr at weichun's hse together with the rest of them. think we only finish one chap? LOL...
seems like creed is a band that i cant get enough of. too bad they disbanded alrdy.. well..
"with arms wide open,
under the sunlight.
welcome to this place, i'll show you everything.
with arms wide open.
now everything has changed. i'll show you love, i'll show you everything.
with arms wide open."
so come on, tell me.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008 @ 10:03 PM:
just felt like expressing some thoughts i have been having these few days. well, life hasnt been quite as complicated as these few days were. im still running away from certain issues that i know i must have an answer for. there are indeed some things that now that i think about it, kinda regret doing. but, whats done cant be undone. and im lost. perpetually lost to know what to do.
someone tell me what to do. i feel that i just dun want to lose this feeling that i already have. although it may seem that i have lost it. but everytime, it comes back. i really dunno what to do and i know remaining at status quo will not solve anything. haiz. i really confused.
ok will stop here cause i dunno how to continue. here's a quote i thought of
"you can forget the history of wars that happen, or the suffering of people. But you must never forget you own history"
live life fully and make sure you never live with regrets.
saw this statement in a video shop and has been in my head all the time. ' that which doesnt kill you, only makes you homcidal.'
LOL
bye folks, take care..
so come on, tell me.
Monday, July 7, 2008 @ 10:02 PM:
school is starting tml. sian. let me just give you this story about the strawberry pie and blueberry pie. see if you can figure out what this analogy is talking about.
there was once this guy who loved strawberry and blueberry pies. so one day, he decided to go try to get a strawberry pie as he craved for it. but the queue was freaking long. so he queued for like forever. suddenly, a person approaches and offers him a blueberry pie. now the person is very confused. should he continue to queue for the strawberry pie? he already queued for so long and if he were to give up now, he efforts will go to waste. but then the queue is so long, what if in the end there is no more strawberry pie? what should he do?
what should he do? what?
sometimes life is nothing but a joke. and the joke's on who now?
on me perhaps.LOL
see ya..
so come on, tell me.
Friday, July 4, 2008 @ 9:46 PM:
fuck la, what the hell is wrong with me. there are really some things that i really wish i didnt see. cause seeing those filth only makes me disgusted. but also at the same time, it feels like a knife through my heart. probably this is retribution. how i wish i dun get to see some stuff. i feel so fucking angry whenever i see it. you think its funny? well, I DUN FUCKING THINK SO! what the fuck is wrong with people sia. cant they just think of others before they do anything. for goodness sake, its public leh. cheebye. i dunno who am i angry with. probably myself. i hate the things im doing and i hate the things people keep doing to me when i sacrifice my time to go and help them. this always never fail to piss me off so badly. why must they do this. why? as i write this, my heart feels so heavy that i cant breathe properly. imagine the anger i have to keep and have been keeping all this time. am i just a puppet for people to manipulate? it aint fair. i need to scream but i cant. what hurts the most is not the things that i go through but its the things i see. everytime i tell myself to forgive and forget. but yet, it just keeps repeating. FUCK YOU. I TRUSTED YOU. AND THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR TRUSTING YOU. THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT FRIEND. and now being the kind me, probably will yet again forgive and forget. but one things for sure, it most probably will happen again. i wonder what are the wrong things that i have done. why am i deserving of all this. tell me NOW! fuck sia. keeping it inside only rewound whats already there. you cant tell. but i feel it. its bleeding AGAIN. but i bet YOU DUN GIVE A DAMN RIGHT?! i sound like a wuss now. but you know, it really feels that way. that terrible, terrible feeling of being played. i dunno how to face myself anymore. stupid me. do all this nonsense for the sake of getting disappointment and anger all the time. people say they understand but they dun. they dunno fuck shit. all they say all the time is "i understand la, dun worry, its ok one." "aiyah, nevermind one la" let me settle this once and for all, no its not ok and you cannot ever 'nevermind' this kind of things. people just dun see the seriousness of the problem do they. blatantly shoot my ego as if i like the feeling. i am a man and i admit i have an EGO. you shoot my pride in front of people i really have NO FACE to see them. fuck sia.
FYI im not referring to the person who is in my class now
Fuck, am i pissed off or what sia.
P.S. i finally can return the piece of white cloth that has been hanging for God know how long.
so come on, tell me.
Thursday, July 3, 2008 @ 10:52 PM:
ok i dunno what to blog. just finish talking to one of my npcc seniors. he's such a great guy. probably would never find a another CI like him. he told me " if you can accomplish something so big such as the syfoc, there's nothing you cant achieve." that really hit me. i really hope that i can really do something. thing is will get the chance. he's such a great motivation to me. thanks man.
watching love guru now online. haha its real funny. when it hits screen im gonna catch it again. something from the movie.
intimacy=into-me-i-see..
hahaha
so come on, tell me.