Sunday, December 2, 2007 @ 11:21 PM: lol
another day alone at home. woke up quite late today cause no one to make noise or anything. so end up whole morning stoning at the tv until abt 12 plus then left for church. i dunno why, but everything suddenly seems different. perhaps its just me but its feels different. i dun like different. i hate what i am now and what i have now. seems now all my friends are missing. whatever i did today, i did it alone. its scary to have this feeling. went church wanted to look for keane or russell. keane didnt reply my msgs until the end of the service while russell brought his gf come today so he had to send her home right after the service hence, didnt have an opportunity to talk to him at all. even in church i sat alone. cant find my friends. after service did not meet them cos no meeting. this made me feel that my friends are all either attached , no longer contacting or just missing in action. i just dunno what to do. even now, i just feel that feelings i have inside only i know. what do people expect me to do. talk to God right? talk to someone that when you hear something theres a 50-50 chance that is yourself counseling your own self. is it true that the more i want something, the more i dun get it? instead i get the opposite reaction. its too unfair to me. what have i done wrong. i worked so hard. persevered so long and came so far. and this is what i get. is this what i deserve? if this is so, I DUN WANT TO PASS MY Os WITH FLYING COLOURS. I DUN WANT TO BE AWARDED BEST CIT FOR THE CIBTC. I WANT TO BE SAD. then now will this come true?. i just need one thing i want to happen to happen. that would be enough. that would be enough. I ASK FOR SOMETHING SO SMALL AND I GET NOTHING. WHATS WRONG??
haiz. days pass by and not a day that i have not thought about you. its pain me to think about you but i dun care. without you, the feeling is like nothing in this world. indescribable agony. and it all just summaries into three words.
i miss you.
Everything we had, everything we had,
everything we had, everything we had
Is no longer there.
i tried so hard not to get a sore throat ytd. guess what? woke up today withe a sore throat. fuck sia.zzz
so come on, tell me.