Sunday, September 30, 2007 @ 10:13 AM: what im i suppose to do?
please dont ever compare how i treat you and how i treat others. its just because your different. a smile from you to me could make my day anytime. i dont ask for much yet i get nothing all the time. its like a knife to the heart. it hurts so badly to see you acting like that. why have you become so cold recently. im so afraid, afraid that what has happened before will happen again. that was the period i hated the most. what have i done wrong this time again. i still dont understand. everything you told me, you always said i dont understand. but, i really do, i really understand. its just that i have nothing to say to answer you. its not that we have nothing to say, its just that you seem to hide a lot of things. dont hide from me please. i really care for you a lot. i can be your shoulder to cry on. a word from you and i will go through hell and back again just for you. i just need you to understand. that you are more than what the others are. i give my all. never had i felt this low before. suddenly everything seems more difficult to overcome. i think im under a lot of stress. and yet, i doing more to myself. but sometimes it really hurts to see the things she is doing. i think berserk cant even be used to describe how im feeling. perhaps my mind is too numb, but i simply cant harden my heart of mine till my exams are over. i have 0% encouragement from anyone close. yet im giving my 100% to all around me. people say im selfish. if i am will i sacrifice so much for a unit that has almost a nil chance of moving forward and that even if i have a practically useless portfolio. if im selfish, would i bother to give money and send an injured old man home. if im selfish, would i give my all to help someone who is really i like. it is human to err. but why am i always blacklisted all the time. i dont wanna lose what i have now. tell me what am i supposed to do?
"cos you mean the world to me"
im gonna make you feel like heaven on earth. im gonna thank your mother for giving you birth. im gonna hold you in my arms when you cry.
if that's ok with you...
so come on, tell me.