Tuesday, September 4, 2007 @ 1:46 PM: haiz
i don't even know how to start this.. seeing myself in the mirror with that fucked up face demoralises me.. i seemed so tired, so lost, so depressed.. why am i like this?.. seeing her acting like this now perhaps.. its a deep struggle in the inside.. i really dunno what to do already.. she seems to be afraid to be with me.. but im really confused.. or is it just that she dun want people to see us together?.. haiz.. i need answers.. im so sick of questions already.. i really want to get her back.. i admit.. IM JEALOUS!.. happy now?.. is that what you want to hear?.. argh.. my head hurts so badly now.. i cannot take it anymore.. i cant stand this feeling.. i really feel like killing.. i dont want to lose you... this sounds corny i know.. but ya.. can you ever understand why i do all this?.. am i that insignificant to you.. after all this time.. what we have.. i know its a lie what you saying now.. on the outside i may seem fine.. but its the internal turmoil that kills me thoroughly.. i need help.. i need someone to get it to her..because i cant seem to get her anymore.. she is obviously avoiding.. but why?.. lets talk things out.. think russell may be right.. shes probably trying to spite me.. well then tell her.. its working!.. can we get things back now?.. only so that i can control this problem.. haiz.. i really dunno what to do now.. i thought everything was back to normal.. haiz.. this could be the last time im going to put my faith and believe her..
P.S. FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCKER!!LEAVE ALONE!!GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I DO SOMETHING REAL NASTY!!
if do something you dun want me to know dun let me see it!!!
take a look around.. nothing much has changed has it? or is it too much?
"I
I do not dare deny
The basic beast inside
It's right here, it's controlling my mind
And why
Do I deserve to die?
I'm dominated by
This animal that's locked up inside"
so come on, tell me.