Saturday, August 25, 2007 @ 8:24 PM: sian
isn't it hard to realise at this point of time that the greatest disappointment that you have is actually that you fail being yourself? have been thinking a lot recently, feel so troubled from all this thoughts. haiz.. at this time of the year liao, why am i still wasting time on unnecessary things?.. i really can't take all this. i've been faced with too many disappointments too many times. has this world ever been fair to me before? have anything i done actually been able to portray the bigger picture i have been talking about all this while? what have i done wrong to deserve this. paid a price too high for something so low. i always come back asking myself, is it worth? .. i have been going on like this for so long. i can;t give up yet. its not worth it... but, maybe not yet.
well.. this week she's gone to China.. some things i want to tell her, but i really dunno how to start. seems like our relationship has a lot of empty gaps in between. but then come to think of it, maybe some gaps are better left empty then at least we have a chance to learn from what we have done wrong and continue on. what really saddens me is that i realised that after all this time what she tell people to tell me is all a bunch of LIES. tell me how would you feel if someone who means a lot lies to you about something?. its unbearable isnt it? maybe i should just put this behind us and continue on from where we left off. the questions that i still am puzzled about is that she ask someone to tell me(yet again.. haiz.. why cant she just tell me..) before that i control her too much?.. why did i do some things? i really hate it when you keep mentioning about someone that i don't really like. its not that i am asking you not to befriend the person but can you just show me the basic courtesy?.. i admit im jealous.. happy? seriously, would you like it if i kept mentioning about someone in times that its just the two of us?..why can't you understand? if i can understand things you tell me, why can't you do the same to mine?.. but anyway, now that we are better, i don;t want anything to come between us again. still believe that we'll work out. don't tell me you don't think so. stop lying to me and yourself already please?
"Whatever It Takes"
Lifehouse
A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better
But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takeslet this song tell you how i feel..
(if you ever asked me how many times i think of you when your gone? i would say once, because i have never stop thinking of you since your gone.)
and now, i wishing you be by my side..
i really......
so come on, tell me.